Busy Bakers

These last few months our house has been under construction, which, as far as I can tell, consists primarily of periods of violent demolition, followed by extended periods of silence, followed by even longer periods of desperate phone calls to absent contractors.

In all the chaos of tarps on the furniture, clothes in the office, pets in the bathroom, and dust absolutely everywhere, we've somehow still managed to bake.

My birthday was last month (some days I feel 30, other days closer to 90, but the real number is somewhere in between), and my first confectionery request of the Piemaker was this Mocha Espresso Cream Pie.

It looks like a lot of cream, but it's really just the camera angle...

Another great recipe from Southern Living - this one was in the Thanksgiving issue!

We have made a lot of chocolate pies. A LOT! But we think this is the best so far. The chocolate filling is a pudding, so it is not as rich as a ganache torte nor as dense as a chocolate silk or satin pie, but it actually has more chocolate flavor, somehow. I broke my rule of not putting cream on pie, because in this case the whipped cream is flavored with Kahlua, and definitely adds more than just calories to the plate.

Since we ate it so fast I forgot to get a shot of a pie slice, here's Southern Living's elegant version:

source

Next, I was intrigued by the concept of the Hummingbird Cake. It's a Southern tradition with mysterious roots. If you ask 20 people who invented it or where it came from, you'll get 20 different answers. I still don't know why it is called Hummingbird Cake - it is a heavy spice cake containing bananas and pineapple. It is layered with the standard cream cheese and butter frosting.


neatly layered and decorated by the Piemaker

This cake is incredible: rich, sweet, fruity, nutty, and just overall delicious. Definitely worth a try: recipe here. Ours had a very strong banana flavor that overpowered the pineapple, so next time we will adjust the proportions of the fruit slightly.  

Happy Birthday to me!

After recovering from all that overindulgence, I developed a craving for almond cakes, which seems to be an annual thing (see 2012 and 2013). My DSIL (who is highly sympathetic to my love of cakes and pies) sent me a lovely new cookbook called Bake It Like You Mean It, by Gesine Bullock-Prado. After reviewing the various almond-based recipes and the price of almond paste (!!!), I decided on "The Very Best Almond-Pear Bee Sting" cake.

Let's first recall that I rarely follow directions, whether for sewing, gardening, cooking, or baking. Thus, when I saw that I should poach two pears in white wine, I decided to poach them instead in a combination of water and port, rather than go to the store for wine. (In case you're wondering, port-poached-pears are DELICIOUS!) When the recipe stated that I would be making 8 mini-Bundt cakes, I ignored it and instead made one full-sized cake.

All patched up - you'd never guess the top fell apart

And finally, when the weight of the pears made the top of the cake fall off, and I had to patch it up, I decided to top the cake with almonds and honey rather than the smooth sugar icing called for in the recipe.

Delicious pears hidden inside

So why is it called a bee sting? I think it is supposed to be because there is honey in it, but it's also interesting to note that both almonds and pears are pollinated by bees.

Here's my version:

Almond-Pear Bundt Cake

Adapted from Bake It Like You Mean It

Pears 1 ½ cup water ½ cup port ¼ cup brown sugar 2 Bosc pears, cored and sliced   Cake 1 7-oz tube almond paste ½ cup sugar 1 cup unsalted butter ¼ cup honey ½ tsp almond extract 1 tsp vanilla extract 6 eggs 1 cup cake flour ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp salt   Topping ½ cup toasted sliced almonds ¼ cup honey

Poach pears: Combine liquids and sugar in a saucepan, bring to a simmer. Add pear slices and simmer until tender. Remove pears to a plate and allow to cool.   Bake cake: In a mixing bowl, combine almond paste and sugar and chop with knife or pastry cutter until pebble-sized.  Use hand mixer or stand mixer to beat mixture at medium speed until almond paste is smooth.   Add butter, honey, and extracts and beat until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating thoroughly and scraping down sides of bowl.   Sift together flour, salt and baking powder in a bowl. Slowly add flour mixture to cake batter and beat just until well combined.   Lightly butter or oil a Bundt cake pan. Pour ½ of the batter into the pan. Place the pear slices into the batter. Add the remaining cake batter.   Bake at 325 degrees for 50 to 55 minutes, until golden brown. Allow cake to cool for 30-40 minutes, enough to loosen slightly from the sides, before inverting onto a plate.   Top it: Warm the honey slightly so it pours easily. Drizzle a small amount on the top of the cake to help the almonds adhere.   Sprinkle the almonds over the top, pat gently if necessary. Pour the remaining honey over the almonds and cake.

 

At least we have no shortage of calories to get us through the construction chaos.

 

Have you discovered any good recipes recently?

 

Katrina

 

 

Things I Forgot to Mention

I can’t believe I forgot to mention the two most important things in January: my birthday, and National Pie Day! Both dates came and went last week. In honor of these significant events, here is something that is neither a pie nor a traditional birthday cake:

Apple Streusel Coffee Cake

 

This is what I requested for my birthday dessert. Delicious!

 

From Southern Living, Sept 2012

The original recipe suggests caramel sauce poured over the top, but that was too much for me!
 

I liked the crunchy streusel and the sweet apples without any added caramel.

 

Did you celebrate National Pie Day (January 23rd)?

Katrina

What I Meant To Say

In my last post, before I veered off on a tangent, I started talking about the problem of shorts. Short pants, that is, not men’s underwear.

1897 riding bloomers source

1922 golf knickers source

First, let me say that the last time I wore shorts outside of my home was in 2000. As I’ve gotten older, shorts have become less comfortable, what with the extra fabric of waistbands, pockets, and crotch seams all sitting in the bulkiest and/or sweatiest parts of the body, but they did have the advantage of convenience in some outdoor activities. Still, I discovered in my early forties that I was more comfortable in skirts, both physically and in how I looked.

1940s shorts source

1970s hot pants source

The only time I do wear shorts is for gardening, because skirts just get dragged through the dirt too much. For the dirtiest tasks I’ve been nursing along a 20-year-old pair of cotton knit shorts, but they finally deteriorated too much even for gardening. After searching through the closets and drawers, I found a stash of shorts in good shape, but they were all too small. I’m not sure why. I bet some of you are thinking about pie right now, but let’s try to stay focused on my problem, please.

I have a few choices of how to replace the old shorts.

Option 1: Spend actual money to buy new shorts, which would only ever be used to get really dirty in the garden

Option 2: See if the bottomless closet contains some unloved trousers that can be cut off

Option 3: Make gardening shorts

Obviously the answer is Option 3! I can make some incredibly awesome shorts, maybe even with big pockets for garden stuff! This could be a lot of fun.

I could put multiple pockets on both legs with this pattern.

The Burda cargo pant looks very similar to the McCall. source

Before I get too excited, I should make a point to keep comfort as my main consideration, since I want to wear them outside when it’s over 100 degrees. The need for pockets is less than the need for comfort, after all.

Also, there are other ways to introduce pockets!

Tool belt? source



Do you like to wear shorts, or have you found a more comfortable alternative? (Or maybe it’s way too cold where you live to even consider it!)

Katrina

Vivere disce, cogita mori

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to see many wonderful old friends that I hadn’t seen in years. Sadly, there was none of the jumping, squealing, and raucous laughter that usually accompanies such a reunion.

We were at a memorial service for another of our friends, so there were smiles, hugs, and reminiscences, as well as a lot of tears. We lost a wonderful woman; an intelligent, loyal, funny friend; a mother, a sister, and an aunt to her large family. She was insightful, and could see through falsehoods and foolishness from a mile away. We could count on her loyalty and support in anything, and no matter how poorly she felt, she'd always ask how we were doing. She had a talent for comedy, playing the straightwoman with perfect ease, or delivering a line that was so subtly funny that you’d crack up 15 minutes later. We all remember “the look,” a glare our friend could deliver that would anyone in their tracks. There is a lot to miss about our friend.

source

The majority of us are in our mid-50s, and we all consider ourselves in the prime of life, give or take a few aches and a memory lapse here and there. Our dear friend was barely 53 years old when she passed away, an event which struck us all as completely unfair, undeserved, and untimely. What about the rest of her life? Why doesn’t she get that part, too? No answer.

Of course we promised to spend more time with each other, and to stop taking all that we have for granted. Soon, all our good intentions will fade, as we get caught up in life and overwhelmed by everyday demands. But we won’t forget our friend.

Katrina

Sewing in Progress

I decided that I needed a conservative dress.

Perhaps it's due to my rapidly advancing age? Will I go about in black, high-necked dresses? Or just tone down the colors and prints? It's hard to define "conservative." I know it when I see it, but I don't think I can describe it.

Anyway I decided on a compromise. It's black, but has a print.

I had a huge length of this rayon with a white button print, thrifted months ago for $4 or $5.

This was a good time to try out one of my genuine vintage patterns. After a brief disappointment with the first pattern I opened and found more than half the pieces missing, I settled on this beauty. I got it from Mrs. Depew on Etsy. She has a lovely selection of patterns, and she also blogs at A Few Threads Loose.

The dress is still in progress. It won’t be lined, so I’m trying to make sure the seams are finished enough to keep things from unraveling in the wash. Some of the instructions required a bit of research (lapped seams?), and of course there is some hand sewing to be done. We’ll take a look at the finished product next week.

Have a wonderful weekend and a Happy Easter!

from The Graphics Fairy

Katrina

Consulting the Croquis

My croquis took form one night when I didn’t feel like sleeping. Hello, miniature Katrina!

Boiling it down to a few lines really helps. The fact that the legs comprise half the figure's height accounts for my life-long struggle to find RTW pants that are long enough.

More importantly, the croquis’ waist is slowly being swallowed up by the rising hip and the sinking bust which are so common among ladies of a certain age.

Compared to the figure illustration in Vogue Pattern Magazine (not a real fit model, I hope, but helpful for illustration purposes), we can see that there are going to be some adjustments required in the chest/bust, the waist, the hip, and pretty much all points between. If I’d remembered to give the croquis a mouth, she would ask for a better-fitting bra, which might counteract the droop and make the waist slightly more visible.

In any case, my little figure has already been a great help in wardrobe planning. She says NO! to high-waisted pants. Here's why:

Remember this incredibly cute pants pattern? I love it!

Here is the line drawing:

Here is the line drawing on the croquis:

Oh, dear. Not good, unless I add underwires and cups to the top of the waistband and call it a jumpsuit.

It’s disappointing that I can’t wear this exact style, but what a relief that I didn’t put in hours of effort to make pants that would look bad.

This style of lower-waisted, wide leg trouser, on the other hand, works well with the figure’s short waist and slight pear shape (as long as she balances it on the top).

To my surprise, my little creation turned out to be well worth the effort. I recommend making yourself a croquis if, like me, you have trouble deciding on styles or visualizing what something will look like on you. (Or if you just want to try things on virtually. It's fun!)

For very good instructions on making a croquis from a photo, go to LladyBird(GIMPshop) or oonaballoona (Photoshop - see comments section). I have trouble following instructions, so I sort of winged it and ended up with the uneven lines, but I know others have made much neater (and more stylish!) versions of themselves.

Have fun!

Katrina

Fun Fifties Patterns

Hey! Let’s dig around in the pattern collection some more!

Today we’re looking at the 1950s. I wasn’t actually around in the 50s, so my “memory” of that decade is generated entirely by media images. I always think of big, full skirts: poodle skirts, circle skirts, broomstick skirts; and always the voluminous petticoat to keep the skirt properly poufed. My mother tells me that it wasn’t all big skirts in the fifties, it was also a time of fitted suits and narrow skirts. But the mental association remains.

Here are some of my favorite dress patterns from the fifties, all with big skirts. They appear even more gigantic in comparison to the anatomically impossible small waists of the happy women on the pattern envelopes.

Pretty rounded necklines.

Wonderful details, plus an example of the straight skirt option on many of the patterns

Some of the gorgeous Vogue reproductions

The silhouette was still going strong in 1960.

These make me want to start sewing right now!

Katrina

Stalking: Have Things Changed?

How interesting that Patti at Not Dead Yet Style mentioned her run-in with a blog stalker the other day. I’ve been pondering this topic for some time, and two other recent events made me decide to write about stalking and related offenses.

First, let me give you some background on my own experiences.
• From the first through eigth grades, I was periodically the target of bullies, both male and female, who took delight in my unwillingness to fight back or speak up for myself.
• During my college years, I acquired two stalkers, former boyfriends who refused to let go. This allowed me and my family to develop a close relationship with the police department, but I would have happily forgone the experience.
• In my 20s I was sexually harassed at work. This was a truly disgusting and demeaning experience, magnified by my then-husband's assumption that I was encouraging it.

Like anyone who has had weird experiences, I often wonder why. I think part of it was the way I presented myself. It still surprises me that with strong female role models all around me, I spent so much of my life being meek and non-confrontational. I was never able to reconcile the two prime directives for female behavior in my generation, politeness and assertiveness. These contradictory modes, combined with extreme introversion, gave me the outward appearance of weakness, in my opinion.

Please, do not think that I subscribe to the “blame the victim” mentality. I abhor even the suggestion of that, and violently oppose anyone who believes that women can in any way cause crimes against themselves. However, I think (and you will tell me if I’m wrong) that women who are physically intimidating or have an aggressive demeanor are less likely to have weirdos parked outside their homes every night or receive threatening letters and calls.

I certainly don’t have anywhere near the problems I had when I was younger, but the occasional nuisance does arise. A few years ago a man approached me at the gym, asked me what I was doing later, and said that he was just in town for that night but he had his truck parked outside. Although I couldn't help laughing at his creepy stupidity, I said no, very clearly, and quickly pointed him out to the front desk to let them know he was bothering the customers. Last week a man followed me all over Jo-Anns Fabrics for almost an hour. After the fourth or fifth time that I looked up to see him hovering and leering at me, I told him to go away, and he did. Note that both of those instances occurred during the day; if it was nighttime, my responses would have been quite different.

Why do I lump all these experiences together? Because bullying, stalking, and harassment all have a similar emotional impact on me, the victim. I start to doubt my own intelligence and/or instincts. I am fearful of overreacting or being thought of as paranoid. And even though I have not been physically harmed, I feel disturbed by the unwanted interaction, and it colors the rest of my day.

What about stalking in the cyber world? There are both similarities and differences with the real world scenarios.

I think the biggest difference is that cyberstalkers feel protected by their anonymity, and this makes them bolder, meaner, more threatening, or cruder in their harassment. Like obscene phone callers, online stalkers are likely to say infinitely more horrible things than they would if they were talking to you face to face. I had a message from a facebook weirdo recently, and although there was a name and photo, it’s unlikely that either belonged to a real person. I did not respond, but dumped him into the spam bin.

The separation provided by cyberspace goes both ways. We can choose to ignore the stalkers, toss them in the spam file, delete them, and go about our business. If they are foolish enough to accost us on a platform with a reporting facility, we can sic the security police on them.

The main similarity between old-school stalking and the online version is that no matter what, we have been negatively affected. Whether it is just a brief inconvenience, or something so ugly that it makes us feel sick, our lives have been touched by something bad and it takes a little time to recover and move on. It’s good to share the experience, as Patti did, so we do not feel alone.

Because of my past experiences, I do not use my real name in my blog. I also do not post pictures of myself here. I like to be able to chat freely about things that interest me without wondering if so-and-so is suddenly going to show up in my comments. I guess I just feel more comfortable having a degree of separation between the real me and the online me.

If someone’s intent on finding me, they can certainly do it, but that’s true of everyone these days. I learned from a quick Google search that anyone can get my personal information including credit report and criminal record (that must be exciting!) for $49.95 or less.

I would like to ask you, dear readers, who I believe are mostly female, what is your opinion on dealing with stalkers? How would you have responded to some of the scenarios I’ve described here? And what experiences have you had with unwanted attention either in person or online?

Katrina

Things That Have the Number 52

* Weeks in a year
* Cards in a deck
* White keys on a piano
* Parallel (degrees North) that passes through Lower Saxony, Inner Mongolia, and Alaska
* Atomic number of tellurium on the periodic table of elements
* Country code for international calls to Mexico
* My age

Yes, today is my birthday and I am fifty-two years old. Not young. Not old. An in-betweenish age.

For my birthday outing, we went to the Phoenix Art Museum to see a display of Giorgio di Sant' Angelo’s brilliantly colorful clothing designs from the 70s and 80s. I recognized many of my favorite styles: caftans and embellished robes, gypsy looks with multicolored skirts and uneven hems, wrapped dresses made of yards of hand-painted silk chiffon or velvet.

There was even an example of Sant' Angelo’s Chameleon Dress, a slinky knit maxi with long, attached sashes that could be wrapped in many different configurations, much like the modern infinity dress. More about Sant' Angelo and the exhibit here.

And what’s a birthday without cake? We have cake and more cake. I asked for an almond-flavored cake, and the Piemaker outdid himself.

The first was a dense, flat cake made in a round cake pan.

recipe here

It looks like a plain yellow cake, but it is just bursting with almond flavor. It tastes more like marzipan than cake, actually. The recipe suggests a raspberry sauce, but we found that although the sauce was good, it was unnecessary.

The second one was a Dutch Almond cake, made in an 8 x 13 baking pan.

recipe here

This one also looks quite plain, but it’s poured in three layers before baking: cake batter, almond filling, then cake batter. It’s an excellent combination with the sweet almond custard middle sandwiched between the buttery, crisp edges of the cake.

We can't decide which one is better!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone!

Katrina

The Incredible Shrinking Day

Yesterday I finally went out and got my 2012 planner, almost three weeks into the year.

My entire year will be contained in 3 ½ x 6 inches

Things sure have changed. When I was working full time in finance, I would get the next year’s Week-At-A-Glance as soon as it was available, usually in September or October, as things had to be scheduled up to a year in advance. My daily columns were packed from 7 am to 8 pm, and sometimes I even wrote in my lunch break so that I wouldn’t forget to eat. I had to use a 9 x 12 page-sized planner just so I’d have enough space for everything. I’d lug it around with my computer and a bunch of files in my big briefcase or a rolling cart.

One year, everyone converted to hand-held PDAs and we all thought we were on the cutting edge. (This was some time before the cell phone became a music player, camera, calendar, clock, and web interface all in one.) After the stupid devices had to be resynched repeatedly to our computers, we quickly lost interest and returned to the old fashioned binder or booklet planners.

I retired in 2006 and continued to use a huge weekly planner for the rest of that year and the next. I was going to school full time, and I filled the pages with class times, due dates, exams, and breaks.

When I went to get the 2008 calendar, however, I realized that I could easily get as much use out of a smaller planner. I switched to the 7 x 9 size, which got me through the end of classes and a couple of internships. But by the end of 2009, I realized that other than the occasional dental appointment and dinner date, my planner pages were blank.

So for 2010, I stepped down to the 5 x 8 size. Now the days were only 9 hours long, and ended at 5 pm! My 2010 planner was soon filled with goals and progress milestones for the book I was writing, some art workshops, and travel dates. But my 2011 planner ended the year almost completely empty.

As I stood in the calendars and planners aisle in Staples yesterday, I decided that although I’m not yet ready to dispense with a portable calendar altogether, I can definitely go down another size. They had week-at-a-glance calendars in little stapled booklets only 3½ by 6 inches. There are no printed times, but each day only has 7 lines.

The years are shrinking too.

I guess I could make this into some important philosophical message about aging (Lowered expectations? Diminished capacity? Running out of time?), but the bottom line is, I’m just so relieved and happy not to be working, and not to have that burdensome schedule and insanely long to-do list wearing me down any longer.

I hope that whatever you’re doing today, you can break away from the endless meetings, task lists, deadlines, and deliverables on your calendar. Take some deep breaths, look out the window, and think of something wonderful.

Katrina

Unresolved

Calvin and Hobbes Dec 30 1995

The end of the year already! This one went by in a blur, with no real standout moments. In past years, I’ve had a graduation, a milestone birthday, a retirement, a baby niece, or some other life event to mark the digits in my memory. 2011 was a year of many strange illnesses, as well as financial and employment struggles, for both me and my loved ones. Nothing terribly traumatic, but nothing I need to remember, either.

It is nice to look forward to the turning over of a new year, even though January 1 is an arbitrary selection of a day distinguished only by the calendar we happen to use. On that day, we all take a deep breath (or a handful of aspirin, depending on the previous Eve), and plunge back into life. My deep breath will be expelled with the wish that we will all be much healthier in the coming year. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.

Calvin and Hobbes Jan 2 1995

I, like Calvin, am from the no-New Year’s resolution tribe. I make changes as I see fit throughout the year, and don’t see the point in forcing myself to do something when I’m not ready, just because it’s a particular day of the year. Especially in January, which in my experience is a gloomy time when you need all the emotional crutches you can find. I quit smoking (28 years ago) in April, because it was just time to do it. I chose to leave an unhealthy relationship and make a better life (16 years ago) in June, because I suddenly had the strength to do it then. I vowed to restrict my compulsive spending (3 months ago) in October, because my financial situation was weighing very heavily on me. In all of these cases, it was very fortunate that I didn’t wait until January to make a change.

That’s not to say that I don’t slip and backslide and fall into bad habits again, just as many people do with their lists of resolutions made on January 1! If I had a nickel for every exercise program I’ve started and then abandoned...

I would love to know whether you make resolutions and whether you’ve had success with them.

Well, whether you are a New Year’s resolution person or not, I wish you a safe and happy New Year’s Eve and a wonderful 2012.

Katrina

The Blahs

Since I'm slothful by nature, it's hard to notice when I slow down. But it does seem like I haven't felt like sewing or crafting or gardening or doing much of anything for the last couple of weeks. I think it might be my new medication.

I talked to my doctor about my unhappy hot flash-migraine cycle and she suggested I could try this drug which is an antidepressant but used for other things in addition to depression. I like to do lists and charts and diagrams and decision trees and power points, and here’s what my analysis of the menopause treatment alternatives looked like:

(1) I almost died from blood clots in my lungs a few years ago and birth control pills were the only possible cause the medical experts could identify. So no more hormones for me.

I'm taking the Effexor but I'm still in the loading phase and haven't even gotten up to a full dose yet since I have to get used to all the new ways of feeling sick instead of just sweating all the time and having headaches. I expect at some point I'll hit the right dosage and start feeling great!

In the meantime, I will just continue to read a lot and sleep a lot and look at other people's blogs.

What do you do when you feel blah?

Katrina

What Would a Goddess Wear?

When I started this blog (not even three months ago!), I was in a state of uncertainty about my appearance as it related to my age and that nebulous concept called “style.” It’s been a joy and a revelation to become acquainted with all the hundreds of wonderful sewing and style bloggers out there; women (mostly) of every age and background, all interested in looking good for themselves and creating beautiful garments. What a huge help it’s been to discover all the over-50 style bloggers who have gone through the same confusion I was experiencing. I am just so proud and pleased with our generation of women, taking all that post-feminist angst and transforming it, finally, into all the power and confidence that all the previous generations fought for. We are goddesses.
Goddesses can still be confused though. Apparently I’m not the only one, as the topic of dressing for our age arises repeatedly in these very blogs. Last week, Pam of Over 50 Feeling 40 recounted her own realization of a gap between her age and her personal style. The responses to her post showed that a lot of us are still struggling with that gap.

I am still puzzling over the idea of whether we define ourselves, and thus create our style, based on what is around us. I’m probably repeating things I’ve said before, but for most of my life my style has been directed by where I was or what I was doing: college (all three times) – jeans; finance career – suits; corporate – the dreaded “business casual.”

Now, without any daily activities to define my look, I’ve ended up with no look. To be honest, my style or whether I have one doesn’t really matter. I’d planned a wonderful new career after my “retirement”, but that never did happen, and due to health reasons I probably will not ever have a full-time job to get up and get dressed for.

In fact, I don’t have much reason to leave the house except for the occasional run to the bank or pet store. I make myself go out at least once a month to visit the botanical garden or the museum or just tour around the lovely old neighborhoods. Once in a great while I have lunch with friends or a dinner date. I could have one dress and that would be enough for an entire year of social activities. I could get by for the rest of my life with only one suit.

At this point, five years into retirement, I could even be one of those people who wears sweat pants every day. (Hmm… elastic waist…) But that doesn’t set well with my love of color, art, fashion and creativity! Not to mention my acquisitive nature, little magpie that I am. I always want to be touching or seeing or making something new and colorful.

Color!

At one point in my confusion of several months ago, I posted this question to the blogoverse: “What does age-appropriate mean to you?” (in regard to clothing.) I love the common-sense response from Anita of Sew Vintage Sew Fun:

“To me it means wearing anything that I feel wonderful in! If I have to pull it down, pull it up, or otherwise adjust it every time I move, then it's not for me.”

Smart! She’s not obsessing about what category her clothing falls into, she just goes with what fits well and feels right. I’ve had too many garments that prevented me from walking with my long stride, or from sitting comfortably, and others that I had to constantly hitch up or hold on to.

Patti of Not Dead yet Style is all over this topic, and her opinion is that with our wider experience and deeper self-knowledge, women our age are both better equipped to make wardrobe choices and more comfortable in those choices than we were when we were younger.

I want that to be true, and I agree many women of our age have excellent personal style and seem perfectly comfortable with it. I, however, still feel slightly unmoored and it may be that I’m trying to force a direction or category on myself when it is totally unnecessary. The good news is, through all these wonderful “style at a certain age” blogs, and my own experimentation, I think I’m finally starting to focus in on a style, or a set of styles that a) I love to look at, b) I feel comfortable wearing, and c) are enjoyable for me to make myself.

Anna Sui

To my eye, the things that are best for me are long, flowing garments that are slightly fitted around the shoulders and waist to give shape, but mostly skim the body with graceful waves of fabric floating over the lumps and bumps of age. Goddess dresses, I like to call them. (Appropriate, right?)

Duro Olowu

As was probably obvious from my obsession with caftans, I’m drawn to ethnic, bohemian, peasant and gypsy styles, things that are draped and gathered and layered and long, but lightweight and full of movement. Yes, I'm a genuine product of the Age of Aquarius. The wrap dress is the perfect shape (not to mention adjustable!) except for its annoying tendency to fly open at embarrassing moments. I also love the modern silhouette of the shirtdress, as long as it has a full, long skirt and a defined waist. Anything in a maxi length will make me happy, and peasant styles are great as long as I stay away from lacy frills.

So, after a lot of projects that didn’t work for me (the pencil skirt, the bombshell dress, the boxy tee, the loose chemise), and some that did work (the flared skirt, the long shirtdress, the fitted blouse, anything in knit), I think I can start to focus on sewing styles I’ll really love to look at and wear.

Of course, you can still expect to be entertained by plenty of poor decisions, beginner sewing mistakes, and unexpected results from my sewing room.

Katrina

Images source

Preparing to Say Goodbye

Perhaps the holiday season is not the usual time for discussing loss and grief, but life and death do not always wait for a convenient date.

My friend, who shall be known here as D, is dying. D could be the poster child for a "Lust for Life" campaign. He loves everyone and has seemingly infinite energy and enthusiasm for any and all adventures. He’s fought prostate cancer for eight years, which is a testament to his personal fortitude and the amazing advances of modern medicine. But now the cancer has moved to the bone, and will not be diverted from its course.

While the details of cancer’s attack on the body are horrific, and the impending loss of a loved one is heartrending, it is comforting to know that in this post-industrial world where everyone is separated and we rely on machines for our everyday survival, our culture has begun to return to some of the old ways.

D is at home now for his final weeks, attended by his partner and children who are thankful for the existence of Hospice and opiate derivatives, both of which help diminish the physical agony aspect of death and allow them to squeeze in every last minute of togetherness and joy for this man. I’m not an anthropologist, but it seems to me that our species has a long history of ushering our dying members carefully and lovingly into the afterlife. This was lost briefly in the decades of the last century where we sent the elderly and dying to institutions “for their own comfort.” Now it seems there is a trend to keep our elders near us in whatever way we can, and to stay close to them as they die. I know not everyone has the opportunity to spend quiet moments with their loved one just before their death; there are too many things that can kill us unexpectedly. But given the opportunity - and plenty of assistance, I’m not suggesting that people give up their careers or put themselves into bankruptcy in order to keep an elder at home - it seems like home is the best place “for their own comfort.”

Who is D to me? As with most of my relationships, it’s a little hard to describe. Officially, he is the son of my partner’s mother’s late second husband. We are completely unrelated, and yet he is family. But a more meaningful description would be something like this: a kindred spirit, a brilliant artist who simultaneously laughs with childlike glee and takes the weight of the world on his shoulders, a man who assumes everyone is a friend unless proven otherwise, and, most simply, a good man.

Here are a few of the things I know about him:

D is a devoted family man – a son, father, brother, and husband, as well as uncle and in-law to many generations and at many removals.

D is a world traveler - he and his partner have traveled all over the globe, seeing beautiful sights and collecting incredible art objects.

D is an artist – actor, dancer, wearer of magnificent costumes.

D is a vintage automobile enthusiast – he’s collected some gorgeous cars and attended more vintage auto shows throughout the country than he can probably count.

D is so very generous – anywhere he goes, he comes bearing gifts selected with the recipients’ special interests in mind (a collection of vintage hand bags for me); he is always the suave host (even now as he is confined to bed he asks visitors if they’d like something to eat or drink); and he is unfailingly supportive and complimentary of other people’s efforts (the mud-green color I chose for my family room walls was universally hated by everyone but me, until D arrived and pronounced that that very color was going to be the next big thing.)

D leaves an indelible impression – the flash of his brilliant Hawaiian shirt as he inspects a vehicle at an auction; the happy grin as he dances effortlessly past, tossing and twirling a breathless partner; his solemn joy and pride in a special ceremony; the smiles of all his children, nieces and nephews, gathering around him at a picnic.

I wish for you a smooth ride to your destination, my dear friend.

Katrina

Caftans, Part Deux

The caftan craze continues: I took advantage of the many sales on Etsy as well as a couple of trips to the Goodwill and Savers, and ended up with an even larger collection of patterns.

My latest acquisitions:

And I scored these lovely Vogues:

This one eluded me for some time:
At first I couldn’t find it anywhere, then it popped up on Etsy for $60. Really, people? $60 for a 1970s pattern? I stopped obsessing about it for a week and then happened to be browsing through patterns on eCRATER, and there it was for $4. I've got you now, my pretty!

So if there are any other intriguing caftan patterns out there, please do not bring them to my attention. I really think eleven is enough. Although I'm still drawn to those Polynesian Patterns...

Caftans are great for burning through those 4- and 5-yard lengths of fabric that somehow get accumulated through free gifts, mystery bundles, and, okay, overbuying. I'll make a few out of odd fabrics I'm not completely in love with (pink and blue striped shirting?), and a few more out of insanely gorgeous fabrics (hello, magenta and chartreuse chiffon!). And as my friend at the local fabric depot says, "if you love sewing straight lines, you'll love making caftans." Straight lines, that's me.

I have a few already cut and ready to sew, and I’m hoping to get to them later this week. I have a feeling they'll contribute substantially to my quality of life during this uncomfortable (and growing more so) period of my life. I can make all the beautiful wool skirts and fitted dresses I want, but until I stop these raging hot flashes (I call them the "sweat-downs"), I won't be able to wear anything but very loose, very lightweight clothing. Plus, I can imagine myself looking cool and elegant, breezing around the house in my caftan, just like a pattern illustration.

Hope you all scored some great deals during the Black Friday - Small Business Saturday - Cyber Monday extravaganza.

Katrina

Changing Traditions

Holiday traditions evolve over time, not just within a culture, but within families, too. Children grow up and start new families, elders pass on, people move back and forth across the country (or the world) in search of better jobs or living conditions. New family units regroup and rethink and plan new ways to celebrate.

Part of the joy of my holidays now is just being alone with my partner to savor some peace and quiet, stuff ourselves with everything we like to eat, and count our many blessings. No more insane five-hour drives in pelting rain to arrive on time for a relative’s turkey dinner, no sleeping overnight at the airport because of delayed flights back home, no worrying that you’ll stir the gravy wrong and piss off your mother-in-law, and no cringing when old Uncle So-and-so gets to the bottom of his third scotch and starts blowing off steam.

Ah, solitude.

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Enjoy your holiday weekend!
Katrina

An Itty Bitty Update

Just thought I'd pop in and give an update on the writing project. First, thank you so much to my dear readers who have offered encouragement! You are wonderful!

It is going quite well so far, in spite of headaches, procrastination, and my refusal to follow any sort of process. No plan, no outline, no research, nothing.

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I just sit down each morning and poke away at the keyboard for 2 to 3 hours, end up with 1800 to 1900 words, and post it to the NaNo site. It's a little too easy, really, which makes me think I must be missing something! It's only the third day, so I'd better keep my eyes open for obstacles down the road.

Actually I think all the excitement and anxiety about writing for 30 days straight is that hardly anyone has the luxury to do that - we're all working, going to school, raising families, or a combination. I can see that it would be difficult if not impossible for someone in those situations to sit down for 2 to 3 straight hours after a long tiring day. And how would they find that much uninterrupted time?

It just reminds me of how incredibly fortunate I am: my parental units find themselves in a rare period of concurrent wellness, my partner carries on his day to day activities with or without me, I have no job or coursework demanding my attention, so you could say I've got it made! I have to take care of the plants and the animals, and myself, and that's it! I can write for two hours a day or twelve, or not at all. It took some work and some difficult times to get to this point in my life, and I sure do appreciate it while I'm here.

Enough procrastinating, now I have to go create another 1667 words!

Tomorrow I'll have more to talk about; in the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Katrina

The Demon Migraine - Part III

And we’re back to the topic of migraine. As I mentioned last time, there is no simple answer to the migraine problem, at least not for me.

I’ve been treated by five neurology clinics, six internists, two dentists, and an ophthalmologist. I’ve tried chiropractic, acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, massage, yoga, biofeedback, meditation, and TMJ therapy. I’ve tried over the counter medication, blood pressure drugs, prescription pain killers, anti-depressants, anti-seizure drugs, tranquilizers, at least a dozen herbal and other nutritional supplements, and three generations of migraine drugs. And that’s not counting the double-blind drug trials where I don’t know whether I received an active drug or a placebo - in any case, there was no improvement in the migraine. I try to keep up with the latest migraine news and check with my doctors every year to see if they have any new ideas.

been there, done that, and that, and that

I’ve gone through two complete diet overhauls, I don’t drink alcohol, and I limit the caffeine. I monitor the weather for upcoming storms, I wear sunglasses all day everyday even when it’s cloudy, I go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning. I limit my time on the computer and the sewing machine. I do jaw, neck, face, and shoulder stretching exercises three or four times a day. I’ve adjusted my lifestyle to accommodate every possible trigger: no work outside the house, no driving or working outdoors at mid-day, no parties, no restaurant food, no exposure to perfumes. My only shortcomings in this anti-headache regimen are inconsistent exercise (hard to stick to a daily program when you lose several days a week) and my love of sugary snacks.

And I still have migraine headaches every week – one or a few or sometimes even seven. In the last three months I had a total of 46 migraine headaches. Some days I would just drag myself out of bed long enough for a meal and then return to the darkness.

(Or maybe I’m turning into a vampire)

My mother assures me that the headaches will stop or at least lessen after menopause, but I’m not holding my breath. I do maintain some optimism, but I’m not going to book a round-the-world tour or apply for a full-time job until I actually experience this miraculous cure.

To finally wrap up this exposé, my point is that migraine is not just a headache that goes away with a couple of aspirin.

To those who don’t personally understand the experience: people with migraines may seem dull or annoying, they may appear to impact production in the workplace, and they may decline your social invitations. But they really are not just being difficult or making excuses, in fact they are probably working harder than everyone else, just to overcome a constant obstacle. Migraine is disease that can be incapacitating, or at the very least, cause extreme disruption in a person’s life. But we are always fighting back.

To my fellow migraineurs: do not be ashamed or feel inadequate, do not subjugate your health to others’ demands, and do be aggressive and proactive in your search for that combination of therapies that will be your personal cure. And laugh! As my mom has always said, “all you can do is try to find the humor in the situation, and laugh about it. Because if you cry, you’ll give yourself another headache.”

There are millions of us, we are tough, and we WILL get through it!

Katrina